


Has It Always Been This Way?

by DarkAndStormyKnight



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abandonment, Deceit Sanders Angst, Deceit Sanders-centric, Hurt/Comfort, It's getting better lads, It's three am have some angst, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Sympathetic Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Logic | Logan Sanders, The others are a bit unsympathetic at the moment, we'll see how it goes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 08:15:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22966786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkAndStormyKnight/pseuds/DarkAndStormyKnight
Summary: Deceit hasn't been okay, not since Virgil left. Now, even Remus has been accepted before him, leaving the 'Dark Side' all alone.And so, alone, with no one else to chase way those awful thoughts, Deceit begins to question if life is truly worth it. And whether or not to be rid of his own.
Relationships: Deceit Sanders & Everyone, Logic | Logan Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Comments: 63
Kudos: 251





	1. Midnight

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings for: suicidal thoughts, self-harm, low self-esteem, self-deprication, implied abandonment, twist ending. The others are just mentioned. Please, read the tags.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit struggles to fall asleep, as well as trying to force his demons out of his mind. His solution, however, isn't a very good one, to say the least.

It was 12:00 a.m.

Deceit sighed, rolling over in bed, cursing at himself. He told himself he would go to bed early (for once). He was going to be needed tomorrow, for that dreaded wedding. If Thomas really wanted his friends to think he was happy for them, well, he was going to have to pull off one hell of a performance. 

Nevermind that this wedding wasn't even what he wanted to be doing that day. Deceit felt sick, knowing that instead of going to the callback, the absolute game-changer of a lifetime, they were going to be at some social event, for friends who didn't even know or care about how much it would cost Thomas.

After a few minutes, it became apparent that Deceit would not be getting sleep anytime soon. He got up, yawning slightly, and went to go retrieve his sketchbook, stopping to pat his snake, Edith.

Once he'd situated himself in bed again, Deceit began to draw, letting his fingers shape and express the emotions his words could not. He was nowhere near as good artistically as (surprisingly) Roman or Logan, nor did he draw typical humans or pretty landscapes or galaxies. No, he often let out his anger and sadness and resentment through his creations, so his works were often collections of grotesque figures, portraits that displayed pain and hurt, like beautiful tragedies.

Deceit had never shown anyone his drawings. He doubted whether anybody knew (or cared) for his 'talent'. Nobody bothered to talk to him outside of videos, and it seemed they tolerated him, at most. The second filming was over, they would all dispers, careful to avoid him, as if he carried some foul, contagious disease. 

'The poor, plague of lying', he thought to himself. He snorted out a laugh, then went quiet. If he was been honest with himself, it hurt. It hurt that they couldn't even stand being around him. It was as if his mere presence disgusted them, which, judging by their facial expressions every time he entered a room, was probably true.

Deceit took a moment to pause and touch his scales. They weren't slimey, but they certainly weren't pretty. The others always took their time to let him know what a freak they thought he was. What was worse was that he couldn't do anything about them. He'd tried, multiple times, to peel them off, telling himself through the tears and the pain, that it was _worth it._ That if this was going to get him accepted, then so be it.

He had eventually given up, because for one, it was too painful, and secondly, he realized that, even if he _did_ peel all his scales off, he still wouldn't be accepted among the 'Light Sides'. They'd hate him with or without scales, because they hated him because of who he was. He was _Deceit_ , and that alone was enough to outcast him.

But he had gotten used to it. He'd gotten used to just taking their insults, time telling him it would be pointless to defend himself. He'd gotten used to not crying every time Virgil snapped at him. He'd gotten so good at pretending those dark, god-awful thoughts and 'coping' skills of his were _normal._

_Everything's okay. You want to die, and that's okay. You **can't** die, Thomas needs you, whether they see it or not. Besides, nobody cares about your stupid problems. What a weak little snake._

These were the thoughts Deceit has to live with, everyday. It didn't bother him, though. That's what he kept telling himself, at least.

Deceit had occasionally considered telling the others about his... certain 'habits'. After all, they all rushed to Roman's aid after he confessed he'd been hurting himself. But, then again, Deceit wasn't a member of their 'famILY'. He doubted they'd care about anything that has to do with him.

Deceit stared at the thin scars that littered his arms. He'd lost count of how many he'd given himself in this year alone, and it has come back to bite him. Now, he didn't have a choice but to wear that villains getup of his, if it meant the long sleeves would conceal his wounds.

After a few more minutes of silent drawing, muddling in these horrid thoughts, Deceit finally gave up and put down his pencil. His hand had a familiar ache after drawing for so long. He turned to check the time.

1:24 a.m.

Deceit groaned, falling back against his pillow. His hand hurt from drawing, and his only other form of escape was to dance, but no way in hell was he dancing at this ungodly hour, in the dark, no less. He didn't want anyone else finding him up this late, anyways.

Really, the only other option was to lay there, alone with his thoughts, which was terrifying. It always led to Deceit's arms bleeding by the time morning came, and he knew he shouldn't be cutting himself if Thomas was going to need him tomorrow.

That was always how it was. Thomas was always referring to Deceit as 'bad' or 'evil', but at the end of the day, he would always need him the most. Lie to others about your feelings, Thomas! Don't want them to be worried, now do we?

Deceit tried to shut his mind up, to stop thinking and fall asleep, but he couldn't help but turn to his nightstand. There, sitting just next to his alarm clock, was a razor. Perfectly polished, kept that way because of its constant use.

Deceit scratched at his scars. It has been a couple of days since he'd hurt himself. The urge was irresistible, but he fought it. 'Too risky for tomorrow ' he told himself. 'Far too risky'.

Far too tempting.

Hands trembling, Deceit picked up the razor, turning it over with his fingers, examining it while his mind reeled. 'Do you feel numb? If not, put it down. If so, you know what to do. Don't waste your time. There will be more days to come.'

Deceit suddenly felt exhausted. Not physically, but mentally. He was tired of everything. Of the way he was demonized, of the way he was ostracized and outcasted, even by his own friends.

Was it his fault? He never expected Virgil to leave. It has happened so suddenly, it just came out of nowhere. Deceit still remembered the argument of that day. Him, begging Virgil to stay, while the latter yelled at him.

_Maybe it **is** your fault. Why else would he have left?_

Deceit let out a shaky breath as tears slipped past his eyes. His hands moved on their own, over those familiar lines in his arms.

_"Hate this guy. Look at his creepy snake-face!"_

One cut.

_"Really, Deceit, why are you here? You're purpose isn't needed."_

Another cut.

_" Look, Deceit, maybe you are trying, but that doesn't change that lying is wrong. It's bad! I won't let you hurt Thomas! "_

Yet another cut.

_"C'mon, Dee, you know I don't want to leave you, but they need to meet me! It's high time, don't you think? I promise I'll come back. "_

_"Like Virgil? "_

_"No! I would never leave you!"_

That was a fun lie while it lasted. Remus's abandonment hurt just as much, if not worse, than Virgil's. Was he really **that** terrible to be around?

Deceit was struck with an idea. He began to carve their names into his skin, blood running down his arms like the tears running down his face.

_You're worthless. You're a liar. You're evil. You don't belong here._

Deceit's thoughts were growing louder in his head. It was all just static to him. White, background noise to the misery in front of him.

And then, came the worse thoughts of all, the ones that made all the others fall silent.

_Why are you still here?_

_Why don't you just end it?_

_Make it all be over, for good._

_No more pain._

_No more tears._

_No more hurting Thomas._

_You can make this **end.**_

Blood pounded in Deceit's ears. He was trembling, staring down at the names carved into his flesh. His heartbeat was loud in his mind, ringing through the quiet room. 

_You can end it all. They wouldn't miss you. So why not do it now?_

Deceit looked over to his alarm again. 2:03 a.m.

Suddenly, he was up, prowling around his room for his pencil and notebook paper. He began to write, furiously and with haste. Blood and tears smeared onto the paper, but he couldn't have cared less.

The minutes passed on, all while Deceit scribbled away his thoughts, writing down his feelings to each of the sides before he ended it all. He knew it was pointless to address suicide notes to people who didn't even care, but he was going to do it anyways. He needs them to at least know what had happened to him.

Suicide. The word sounded strange in Deceit's mind.

Finally, he'd finished with the last of his letters, his hand blistering. He grabbed his sketchbook and tore out his drawings, dedicating them to a specific side. He sealed the letters and drawings up.

It was now 2:49 a.m.

Being as quiet as possible, Deceit crept out into the hallway. He slid the notes under each of their doors, careful not to alert anyone of his presence. He just wanted to get this over with.

Once he reached his room again, Deceit covered Edith's terrarium with a blanket. He didn't want his beloved snake to wake up and see his lifeless body in the morning.

Deceit sat in the middle of his room. He glanced, for the final time, at his clock.

2:59 a.m.

He sighed, raising the razor to his arm, staring at the names. Some feeling was returning to him. He felt himself trembling. It was finally happening. He was really going to do this.

_Finally, eternal rest._

The blade was pressing against his wrist.

_Virgil, Logan, Roman, Patton, and Remus will all be happy._

He felt pain in one wrist while the blade pressed against the other.

_Thomas, I'm sorry._

Deceit felt weak. He was losing blood fast, and carving names into his arm didn't seem all that smart now. His vision began to blur as his body swayed.

He heard footsteps, or he thought he did. He could only truly hear the pounding of his heart. It sounded almost frantic to him.

His body slumped to the floor, no longer having strength to hold himself up. Deceit felt his eyelids, now heavy, begin to droop.

Then, he heard the sound of what he recognized to be his door opening, followed by a scream. Deceit looked up and saw a flash of red. Confusion filled his muddled mind. Another scream rang through the night, calling for help-

And then everything went black.


	2. Encounters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit is found by Roman, but he’s already unconscious and suffering extreme blood loss. When he eventually wakes up, it leads to an encounter that makes him wish he wasn’t found.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for: unsympathetic sides (I don't think it's too bad), a lot of yelling and hurt all around. Suicide mentions and self-harm. Stay safe, web-heads.

It looked like a scene out of a horror movie.

Remus had heard Roman’s high pitched scream and initially thought nothing of it. Roman often screamed for no reason anyways, staying up late and brewing up story and video ideas. His brother probably had another one of his late night epiphanies, nothing more.

Remus was about to go to sleep again until he heard Roman scream again, this time, with words.

“GUYS! Get help, Deceit’s bleeding!”

That sentence alone was enough to make Remus’s heart almost stop.

He leapt out of bed and sped down the hall, barely noticing the other doors opening and the other’s alarmed questions. He knew something was wrong before he even made it into the room. The smell of blood and iron was far too strong in his nose.

Then there he was, standing at the entrance of Deceit’s room, before he let out a shriek, whether from rage or shock or agony he couldn’t tell. Remus didn't even register to Logan gasp, Patton’s wail or Virgil’s yell. All he could make out was the terrible sight in front of him.

Roman was cradling Deceit in his arms, who was covered in blood running down from his arms. He looked chalk white, his eyes shut and body hanging limp in Roman’s grasp.

Remus’s brother pushed past them all, Logan following quickly behind, commanding Roman to bring Deceit to his room for treatment. Remus took a single glance at the large pool of blood in the middle of the room before pure, unfiltered fear coarsed through him. Pushing past Virgil and Patton, he sped to Logan’s room, tears blurring his vision as he prayed frantically:

 _Please don’t be dead, please don’t be dead, please don’t die on_ _me-_

"I need the first aid kit, now! ", Logan yelled. Rustling could be heard as Remus approached the logical side's door. "Lay him on the bed, Roman, check for a pulse! And for the love of God, **stop the bleeding!** "

Remus burst into the room, on the verge of hysteria. Logan was rummaging around his neat room, flinging things away in search of a medical kit. Roman, meanwhile, had wrapped towels around Deceit's arms, trying to stem the steady flow of blood. Remus already saw spots of red beginning to stain the fluffy white of the towel's fabric.

"What the hell happened to him?!" , Remus wailed as Logan rushed back to the bed, taking out bandages from the first aid kit in his hands. "Did he fall? Did he break something? Was he attacked?!"

" Judging by these cuts, none of those options you just mentioned are possible. ", came Logan's curt reply. His brow was furrowed in concentration, working on steadily applying the bandages on Deceit's mangled arms. "If I might suggest, I would hazard to guess that he did this to himself."

" What?! Why?! "

It was Patton. He was at the door, looking sick at the sight of Deceit's condition. Virgil stood behind him, rigid and stiff, looking almost terrified.

"It's the only probable cause. Look at the cuts themselves. They're far too precise to have been an accident, and there was razor in his hands when we found him. Roman and I, it seems, where the only ones who noticed that particular detail. Not only that, but it seems he's written something onto his skin with the razor."

Remus felt his stomach churn unpleasantly. Virgil's face flushed a pale green, and Patton whispered, in a scared, hushed tone, "W-What did he w-write? "

Logan looked grim. "It appears to be our names. All of us, including Thomas. He put three on each arm."

Patton whimpered and hid his face in his hands. Virgil looked as if he was about to be sick. Roman was helping Logan carefully patch up Deceit, the latter who was placing the bandages over said names, looking anxious and deep in thought.

"But, why?" , came Patton's broken voice. "Why would he do something like this?"

" That, I don't have an answer to. ", Logan replied wearily. "I was never close to Deceit, and never detected anything in his behavior to suggest he would do something like this. Remus, Virgil, you were both Dark Sides at one point. Do you know why Deceit may have done this?"

Virgil shook his head, averting his eyes from the logical side's piercing gaze. Remus remained silent, too distraught to speak.

After a few minutes of silence, Logan stood up and sighed. "Well, I've done the best I could at patching him up. Now, all we can really do is wait for him to wake up."

" C'mon, Patton, you look exhausted. ", Virgil said quietly, the first time he'd spoken since finding Deceit. Patton nodded and let the anxious side pull him away, shooting a final glance back at Deceit. Logan turned to the brothers.

"I understand if you want to stay with him. I will be in the living room resting. Let me remind you that we will all need to be mentally prepared to tell Thomas what happened."

After this , Logan bade them goodnight and left, shutting his door with a soft _click_. 

Remus turned to his brother. "How did you know?"

Roman looked up, frowning slightly. "Pardon?"

" How did you know? Did he talk to you, or do you just regularly check up on us or something? " Remus didn't bother hiding the bitterness in his tone.

The Prince looked incredulous. "He left me a note." , Roman said, looking at his brother cautiously. "In it, he explained what he was doing and that he'd left everyone else a note, too. I was up, so I read it."

Remus's heart sank. Deceit has left the suicide notes. With a sick pang of realization, Remus remembered a little slip of paper on his floor when he'd rushed out off his room just minutes ago. Was that it?

Roman looked away from his twin, back down at Deceit, still speaking. "He left me his drawings, too. I guess it's lucky I was up. God knows what would've happened if I hadn't found him."

It was a lie, of course. Both brothers knew what exactly would have happened had Deceit not been found until morning, but neither were willing to admit it. Saying it would have made this too real, too unbearable.

As the silence stretched on, Remus noticed how Roman was still sitting beside the deceitful side on the bed. His eyes hadn't moved from Deceit's form, and there was a look in them that reminded Remus of the defensive gaze of a companion.

Finally, when he couldn't stand it any longer, Remus broke the silence. "What did the note say, specifically ? "

Even now, his brother's eyes stayed fixed upon the injured man. "He said that while we weren't close, he respected me in the way that I wanted Thomas to follow his dreams. He regrets not being able to become close to me, and that he wouldn't have a chance to." Roman's voice cracked and he coughed self consciously. "He really wanted to die, to stop being here."

_But **why**_ , a voice in Remus's head screamed. **_why_** _would he want this?_

"This is our fault."

Remus fixed his princely brother with a look. "What?"

" You heard me perfectly well, dear brother of mine. "

The Duke's eyes narrowed. "And what exactly do you mean by that, my darling twin?"

Roman's mouth thinned, and Remus suppressed a smirk.

"You know what I mean. We made him feel like this. We outcasted him, and for what? I, of all people, shouldn't have-", the prince's voice broke. "I know what it's like, to hurt yourself. I know what was going through him when he did it. Knowing he went through it **alone,** is just-it's too horrible to image. There's only so long you can go being alone like this until you crack. He just finally had enough. "

Remus looked away, ignoring the tears in his eyes. "Could you tell he was suffering, even before this? "

"No. I wish I could've, then maybe this wouldn't have happened. I wasn't close to him, so I couldn't gauge if he was being sarcastic or serious. " Roman sighed, rubbing his eyes wearily. "When was the last time you talked to him, in person?"

Remus thought for a minute, his heart sinking before he replied meekly, "Two weeks ago."

Roman, at last, looked up at his brother, though the look in his eyes was not a friendly one. "No wonder. Being alone, mentally and literally, are recipes for disaster. We should have done something."

" Yes, we should've. "

The twins looked towards the door. Logan had walked in, looking at them apologetically. 

"I thought you were going to sleep, nerdy Wolverine. How long were you listening for?"

" The entire conversation, more or less. ", the logical side replied. "I knew that I wasn't going to be able to sleep after all of this, so I thought I'd just come by and talk with you two instead."

The three of them looked down at Deceit. He looked calmer, much more at peace than any of them had ever seen him.

Roman broke the silence this time. "Do you think any of us are truly sorry for him? I'm not talking about pity. I mean genuine guilt and regret. "

"I...don't know. ", Logan replied honestly. "I can't try to process my feelings right now, they are far too muddled. And I cannot speak for the others. It is hard to tell if any concern they have is for Deceit himself."

"I am sorry." , Remus whispered, furiously blinking his tears away. "I should have stopped this."

" I am sorry, too. ", Roman spoke quietly. "I just wish he knew."

Deceit felt something bright on his face. Was it light? The sun, perhaps? It was a warm feeling, but it possessed no actual weight.

Deceit's eyes suddenly shot open. Something was wrong. He wasn't supposed to be feeling the sun, and certainly not the warm bed sheets beneath him. He shouldn't be **feeling** anything right now! He was supposed to be **dead**!

_So then why am I still alive? How? I should have bled to death..._

_So what happened?_

Deceit looked around. He wasn’t in his room anymore, of course, but rather, in a shockingly neat one, with pictures of constellations and galaxies thrown up against the walls.

So, he was in Logan’s room, that much was obvious. He looked at the foot of the bed and found yet another surprise.

Roman was sleeping at the end of the bed, his head by Deceit’s feet. His head rested on his arms folded beneath.

Deceit stared at the slumbering prince, his mind whirring. What happened? Did Roman read his note? It must’ve been that, because he’d heard a scream just before he passed out.  
  
Deceit frowned. He hadn’t wanted to be found. Now, he was stuck here, alive, which meant that the others were bound to interrogate him on why he’d been bleeding to death.

He growled slightly, wondering if there was any way he could get up and finish the job without waking Roman. Alas, just as the deceitful side tried to sit up, the Prince began to stir.

_Speak of the devil_ , Deceit thought moodily. Roman yawned, then turned to look up at him, the prince's face lighting up.

“Oh, you’re awake! How are you feeling? Do your arms hurt-?”

“What’s going on?”

Roman looked confused. Deceit stared at the ground, trembling. His eyes were wide.

“What’s wrong?”, the prince inquired, concern growing on his face. “You’re shaking.” He reached out to touch him-

-and then Deceit’s resolve broke.

In the blink of an eye, the deceitful side had burst into hysterics, cowering against the wall, screaming, “Don’t touch me! Please, stay away!”, tears streaming down his face as he cradled himself in his bandaged arms.

Roman stood there, feeling absolutely horrible. He remembered his question from earlier and knew then that he, for a fact, was truly sorry for what had happened.

This could’ve been him, had he not gotten help. What made him more worthy of having support than Deceit?

Now wasn't the time for those questions, however. He needed the half-snake to calm himself first, then to go retrieve Logan.

As if he’d read his mind, Logan burst into the room, Remus following quickly behind, both looking weary and frightened.

“What happened?”, Logan asked in a hushed tone, keeping his eyes on the distraught man in the corner. Remus stared as well, a choked sound coming from his throat.

“He woke up, and I tried to put my arm on his, and he just-“, Roman gestured desperately at Deceit. Logan sighed, the sound a mixture of exasperation, frustration, and weariness.

“Roman, I don’t mean to come of as rude or condescending, but you should have known better than to do that. He’s scared, on guard, and confused. It’s expected he won’t act rationally, and really, there’s nothing wrong with that, especially with what happened to him.”

The prince shrank slightly. “I know”, he mumbled. “I just didn’t expect it to be this bad so soon, I suppose.”

“Understandable.”, the logical side replied swiftly, tearing his eyes away from Deceit. “Shall we just let him calm down, then? I don’t think talking to him is going to do much in this state.”

The twins agreed. The three sides kept their distance from him, so that they were no longer ogling him, but rather watching him cautiously. Eventually, Deceit calmed down, but while he stopped crying, he stayed in his corner, his head buried in his arms.

It was Logan who spoke first. “Deceit?”, he asked, polite and gentle. “Are you okay now? Do you want us to move away?”

Deceit slowly raised his head, his eyes peeking out. He shook his head slowly, but made no move to either shrink away or open up to the others as they moved closer.

There was an awkward silence. Logan gave a pointed look to the others. Remus cleared his throat and addressed his friend for the first time in weeks, a weird feeling in his gut.

“Dee, could you-could you tell us what happened? Why? Why would you do this?!”

Deceit flinched at the Duke’s raised voice. Roman shot his brother a look of distain, going to say something, but Deceit replied, “Why do you ask?”

“W-Why?! Why!”, Remus sputtered, his voice rising angrily. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?! How do you think we feel having to see our friend bleeding to death on the floor?! Especially after finding out he wanted this?! Why do you think we ask?!”

“Remus!”, Logan exclaimed firmly, his eyes ablaze. “Calm down, you are not helping-!”

"You didn't answer me."

The others fell silent as Deceit spoke. " You didn't answer my question. Why DO you guys care? I don't serve any of you a purpose. I may as well not be here at all. "

The others were silent, too horrified and appalled to speak. They heard footsteps, followed by Patton's merry voice, "C'Mon, kiddos, rise and shine, we've got a big day today-! "

Patton fell silent when he got to Logan's room, uttering a soft "Oh" as he soaked up the scene. Virgil appeared behind him moments later, looking apprehensive.

“I see he’s awake now.”, Patton said, eyeing Deceit worryingly. “Is everything alright?”

Deceit spoke first. "They were going to answer my questions, I think." He kept his eyes on the ground, as if he were scared of meeting the moral side's gaze.

"Why don't you tell us what happened first, Deceit?" , Logan proposed. "We will answer your question once you finish telling us what happened. We promise."

Deceit tore his gaze away from the floor, looking at Logan cautiously. " You promise? All of you? "

"Of course, right everyone?" , Roman declared, throwing the others sharp glances. Remus gave a word of agreement, as well as Patton, whereas Virgil remained quiet, his narrowed eyes never leaving Deceit's face.

Deceit looked back at the ground, though he wasn't really seeing it. He was reliving those thoughts from just this morning, remembering his actions from just hours previously. He let out a shaky breath, then began to speak.

"I've always had these...thoughts. They would tell me I wasn't good enough, that I was evil, that I was hurting Thomas. They would tell me what you guys told me, and, really, they aren't wrong. I've caused all of you trouble, and I just wanted to be heard. I never meant to cause any problems. I am your problem, and we have to get rid of problems before they do too much damage, right? So, I just decided I was doing just that. You never wanted me here, so why bother to put you guys through that? "

The others were silent. They couldn't seem to process what exactly they'd heard, coming from Deceit, no less. Then-

"Why are you lying?"

Virgil had spoken at last. He was glaring at Deceit. "I've had these thoughts myself. Why would you, of all people feel this way? Tell us the truth; you did this for attention, didn't you? You just did this to gain our sympathy, right? So you could be **heard** , right? "

Patton looked shocked. "Is that true?" , he asked the snake. "Because, if so, that's not something you should do! Faking your emotions for manipulation is wrong! "

Deceit tensed. "I know you wouldn't believe me."

" Why would we? ", Virgil snarled. "All you've ever done since revealing yourself is cause trouble! You've already gotten Roman and Logan on your side! This is your plan, right? You can't trick me, Deceit!"

" Virgil, stop! ", Logan exclaimed, appalled, while Roman looked disgusted. "This behaviour is completely unacceptable!"

The anxious side paid him no mind. He took a single step forward, looking dangerous and menacing. "If you're so upset", he spat, "Why don't you tell us what you're really feeling, huh? Go on, what lie can you come up with this time?"

Deceit spoke softly, so much so that no one has heard him.

" What was that, snake? "

"You should have let me die. "

Deceit's tone was clear, his voice monotone, carrying no doubt. It was enough to silence everybody present. He raised his head to look at Virgil in the eye. Tears were flowing down his face, yet he made no move to wipe them away.

"You didn't have to save me. I wanted to die for a reason. You should have just left me on the floor to bleed to death. It's obviously what you want. So let me finish the job."

Deceit began to tear off his bandages. Remus looked alarmed. "Dee, don't -!"

Deceit ignored him. His bandages fell to the floor, exposing the mangled skin beneath them. He raised his arms up, displaying the ugly scars.

" Let me do this. You'll never have to worry about me again. Excellent, isn't it? "

Patton looked sick. "Wait-!"

" For what? ", Deceit gave a small laugh, more tears falling from his swollen eyes. "You don't care about me, none of you do. The only reason you care now is because no one should **ever** have to kill themselves, right? That's not good, is it? "

Remus looked horrified. "Dee, that's not true, we do-!"

" Don't. " Deceit's voice had cracked slightly. "Don't lie to me. If you actually cared, you wouldn't have left me aone. If I was actually worth it, Virgil wouldn't have left. If I was actually useful, Thomas would love me like he does you guys!"

The silence surrounding them was heavy. Grim. Patton was crying silently, and Virgil had shrunk back. Roman and Logan were looking up at Deceit, while Remus was fighting the impulse to scream.

"He doesn't care. So don't sit here and pretend like the rest of you do."

Deceit sighed, trembling. He hugged himself with his damaged arms.

" I'm sorry I couldn't be better. I just wished you guys actually cared enough to see I'm telling the truth. But it doesn't matter. Not anymore. Just... leave me alone."

"We're sorry.", Remus whispered. Deceit didn't even look at him.

"No. You're not. Because you don't think you did anything wrong. You're protecting him. That's all I ever wanted. "

And with that, Deceit got up and left, leaving behind the rest of the sides, too absorbed in misery to stop him. Misery that wasn't even theirs.

Misery that they had caused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a one-shot, but it’d be cruel to leave it at that, wouldn’t it be? I’ll try and update soon, web-heads!  
> I am so tired, please have some angst while I go sleep.


	3. Apologies: Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After moping for some time, the other sides (or, some of them, at least) decide to go follow Deceit and pay him what was long since overdue: respect, and an apology each.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've been gone for so long! I've been having internet trouble, another draft in the works, and now online school, as well as not feeling very good mentally. But now I'm back, please accept this chapter as an apology. Enjoy, web-heads!

Deceit rushed back to his room, slamming the door shut behind him before breaking down against it. Painful memories and the fresh wounds and the fight just moments ago sent a cascade of tears down Deceit's face. He fell to the floor, clutching himself with his mangled, bruised and hideous arms, feeling truly alone.

He knew no one would follow him. He knew them better than they thought he did. Better than he would have liked to. But it was just so _obvious_ back there. Roman was being nicer to him because he felt guilty over not seeing this coming, as someone who used to self-harm themselves. Logan was... Strange. Presumably he cared because of the side affects Deceit killing himself could possibly have on Thomas. Patton only cared because it was a horrible thing for someone to want, but he was quick to jump on Virgil's accusations. Virgil....

He didn't care. Deceit knew he didn't and knew he never would, but still... Why did it hurt so much? And Remus...

Deceit hated himself, and he did now more so than ever. Hearing how weak and sad Remus's voice was, it broke something inside of the half-snake. Terrible agony seared inside of him, yet he refused to break down in front of the others more so than he already had.

Deceit opened his eyes, blurred slightly by the onslaught of tears still coming. The others had cleaned up the blood on the floor. He assumed they probably also took away his razor. He'd have to come up with another way of finishing the job, then.

A knock sounded at his door. He jumped slightly at the voice that suddenly rang out. "Deceit? Please, come out, we don't want you hurting yourself again!"

Logan. Of all people, it was him. Deceit didn't know how exactly he felt about that, but the fact that Remus hadn't come first was another wound to the chest.

"Please, open the door! We are truly worried about you!"

"Deceit, please don't do this! Logan and I, we're here to help! I know we haven't in the past, but that will change, starting today!"

"DeeDee, please! We can't lose you!"

'I guess what they say is true', the snake thought bitterly, more tears streaming down his face. 'They only care after you die, or try to.'

"Deceit? Are you-?"

"Go away! I'm fine"

"F-Fine?! Deceit, you are far from being fine! Please-!"

"Just leave me alone, alright?! You've done such an excellent job at ignoring my presence all my life, so why you choose at the end of it to suddenly care about me, I don't know!"

Silence met his words. A small voice sniffled, "We never wanted this to happen, Dee. It shouldn't have come to this."

"Remus is right. We should never have made you feel this way, but our guilt does not condone our actions. You have every right to be upset, Deceit. We wronged you, and that lies with us, and us alone. Don't kill yourself over our mistakes."

"We can make this better, if you're willing to let us. It doesn't have to be like this!"

Deceit trembled as they spoke, not believing a single word. He could only hear those nasty thoughts, hearing each individual voice: _gross, creepy, freak, evil, wrong, unneeded, unwanted._

Deceit noticed their voices had quieted. "We're sorry, Deceit, truly. We hope you can forgive us?"

He shook his head and leaned against the door, violent sobs tearing at his chest once more. "Don't lie to me.", he snarled weakly, shaking violently. "You don't care."

The denied it, over and over.

He refused to believe them, over and over.

Then, he heard it:

_I'm not yours, and you're not mine._

The voice was soft, but it was loud enough that he couldn't miss it. Deceit's breath hitched. It was Remus who was singing. Who else could know the lyrics to his favorite song?

_But we can sit, and pass the time._ _No_ _fighting wars, no ringing chimes-_

_We're just feeling fine._

Roman had joined his brother. He has presumably heard this song before, it was a gentle tune, good for a lullaby. Deceit still cried and his breathing was too harsh and his shoulders still shook, yet the song still continued.

_This is where we're supposed to be, sitting by the broken tree._

_No tragedy._

_No poetry._

_Just staring at the sky._

Deceit gave a small start. Logan had begun to sing. It was very faint, and far more gentle than the Creativitwins, but it was still there. Logan's voice was a heavenly sound, that, despite everything, was beginning to calm Deceit down.

_I could wait, a thousand hours._

_Stay the same, in sun and showers._

_Pick apart a hundred flowers._

_Just to be quiet._

_Tell me when you feel ready._

_I'm the one, there's not too many-_

And against all hope, surprising everyone present, a soft, tear-heavy voice continued:

_Hold my hand, to keep me steady. Just to be quiet, with you._

_With you._

So they sung, putting their emotions into the lyrics that filled the room instead of its previous dreary silence. At the end of it all, Deceit had stopped crying, he'd tried to control his trembling, and was taking slow, deep breaths. Finally, Roman asked the daring question.

"May we come in?"

Deceit didn't feel himself get up. He didn't feel the metal of the doorknob. He didn't hear the breath that he released.

But he heard the click of his door unlocking.

Logan didn't know what had gotten into him. He hadn't felt fear, he hadn't felt _terror_ like this before. He also hadn't felt this much shame, not in... Forever.

Logan knew he wasn't equipped to deal with this. He wasn't good with feelings, hell, he preferred to pretend they didn't exist for a reason. They were too confusing, too vague, and worst of all, they weren't ground in any logic. His very purpose was thrown out the window when it came to dealing with emotions, so how could he begin to understand them?

Nevertheless, that didn't change the fact that they did exist, and pretending they didn't wasn't going to make anything better. Hell, his neglecting to even acknowledge emotions was probably one reason this had all happened. Had he understood them better, he could have seen the signs of Deceit's poor health before it led to this.

But he couldn't change the past. Now, he had to focus on fixing the present, to make sure a better future was possible for his friend.

Deceit opened the door, barely enough to see through. His visible eye looked swollen, tear tracks staining his pale face. 

"I-I can't let you in.", his voice came, cracking slightly. He cleared his throat. "Not all of you. I just-can't."

"That is understandable.", Logan replied swiftly, forever thankful that he had been blessed with the ability to hide his own emotions perfectly. What Deceit needed now was someone like a pillar to lean on, not an emotional mess. "Will you allow us to come in one at a time? We will respect any decision you come to."

Deceit looked down, biting his lip. Logan noticed the tip of a fang poking into his lip. "Alright then. I'll-I'll let you come in first, Logan. If that's okay with all of you."

"Its your room, Deceit. We are fine with anything you decide.", Logan said kindly, managing a small smile. The Creativitwins nodded in agreement, Roman smiling as well in encouragment, while Remus hid most of his face in an anxious gesture.

Deceit blinked, looking uncertain still, even as he opened the door wider for Logan. The logical side gave the others a quick nod before entering, Deceit shutting the door gently behind him.

The first thing that came to Logan's mind was how _amazing_ his room looked. The walls were a matte grey, except for the one by the bed, which was done with chalkboard paint. Logan could see little notes made in Deceit's handwriting, as well as a few doodles. He also saw a whole wall was dedicated to an entire bookshelf, as well as a long desk that held notebooks, pens, and a terrarium were a small snake was resting peacefully.

Logan hadn't been in his room before. He declined Roman's offer that night to help clean the blood out of respect. He felt as if Deceit wouldn't have wanted them here without his permission.

Logan turned to Deceit. The half-snake had taken to his bed, sitting up against the headboard, clutching a pillow to his chest. "You can sit down.", he told the logical side, gesturing toward the bed. 

Logan sat down at the foot of the bed, giving Deceit enough distance to feel comfortable. Deceit chewed nervously on his lip, staying silent.

After a small pause, Logan coughed, shattering the silence. "So. How do you feel right now, Deceit? Mentally and physically."

Deceit looked down at his scarred arms, his lips and eyebrows twitching down into a frown. "I feel fine, physically. I'm not in any pain at the moment. You did a good job in patching me up." He met Logan's gaze, giving a small, shakey smile.

"You're welcome, Deceit.", Logan replied, nodding slightly. "How do you feel mentally?"

Deceit lower his gaze, the temporary smile slipping from his face, but Logan was relieved that his expression didn't tug back into a frown. He looked as if he were deep in thought, thinking about how he was to word his feelings.

"I... Don't know. I don't feel horrible right now, but I still don't feel like I deserve your sympathy, or Roman's, or Remus's. I'm still upset over Virgil. I still hate myself. But, I'm not sure if I want to die as much as I did. Now, I just don't know."

Logan was so, so relieved, so happy that Deceit was _finally_ being vocal about his problems, finally being honest. He trusted Logan enough to say these things, and Logan took that realization with pride.

"That is to be expected, Deceit. We can't expect immediate results. Especially since that encounter earlier was... Less than beneficial."

Deceit nodded, his eyes meeting Logan's once more. They were an interesting pair. One was a warm brown, a richer hazel tone than the other sides, and the other was yellow, slit, and fascinating . He could see the trust and sincerity in those eyes, it was almost startling.

Logan knew Deceit's eyes were different, but he never expected them to be this... Captivating. To be so beautiful.

A weird feeling arose in Logan. He wasn't familiar with it, which was odd. Despite not liking them, he had to succumb to emotions once in a while. Was he embarrassed, or surprised?

Deceit squirmed slightly, tearing his beautiful eyes away. "Stop staring. Please."

"Oh.", Logan have a small start. "I'm sorry, Deceit. I didn't intend to make you uncomfortable. I lost my train of thought for a moment."

Deceit nodded, still averting his gaze. After a moment, he asked, "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you helping me? I know that Roman and Remus feel guilty, and that Virgil and Patton probably don't even care, but you? I don't understand why _you_ care. You've never shone interest in me before, so why start now?"

Logan had to admit, that _stung_.

"I-I-Deceit, let me start off with doing something that I should've done a long time ago. Something that, if not for my careless actions, wouldn't be needed. Shouldn't have been needed. If you'll let me."

Deceit visibly tensed. "What are you going to do?" Logan didn't miss the small tremor of fear in his voice.

Logan reached out his hands, beckoning to Deceit, eyeing him carefully for any signs of discomfort. "May I?"

Deceit bit his lip once again (that was very distracting) before holding his own hands out. Logan took them gently in his, marveling at the cool skin and smooth, leathery scales that dotted his flesh. He took a deep breath, and let his walls fall away.

"Deceit Sanders. Today, I owe you an apology. I know that it won't be enough, that it will never be enough to heal what I have broken in you, but it must be said. We all share a part in hurting you, and today, I am confessing and repenting for my part. I'm sorry that this happened to you. I'm sorry for not noticing that you were hurting sooner. I'm sorry for making you believe that you were unwanted, that you were unneeded, because that couldn't be farther from the truth. I am sorry for not doing anything. For not being **better** , because you deserve far, _far_ better than this, Deceit. I promise you, that starting today, I will give you the support and trust that you rightfully need and deserve."

Deceit stared, his eyes wide and breathing deeply. Logan was watching him, slightly nervous. He'd never voiced his feelings aloud before, much less such strong ones like these. But he knew that they were true. He would keep his promise, and he meant every word that he had spoken, and he would take none of them back, not for anything.

Deceit met his gaze, trying to find any malicious or untruthful intentions in Logan's eyes. When he found none, he released a shakey breath, clinging to Logan's hands in an iron-tight grip.

"Do-Do you really mean all that?"

"Yes.", Logan whispered, his voice low, leaning closer towards the half-snake. "Yes, I mean it. Do you believe me?"

Deceit looked down, swallowing thickly. Logan could almost hear his heart pounding. Or was that his own heart, beating so loud with... Anxiety? Anticipation? Fear? He couldn't tell.

At last, Deceit looked up at him. "Yes.", he replied, his voice as low as Logan's. "Yes, I believe you."

Logan released a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "Thank you. It was never my intention to hurt you in such a way. I do hope you can find it in you to forgive me. "

"After an apology like that? How could I not?", Deceit gave a small chuckle, before going quiet again. "Do you think the others will apologize?"

"I see no reason why they wouldn't. They were just as devastated, if not more so than I was-"

"Not the twins, Logan.", Deceit said, a slight edge in his voice. "You know who I'm talking about."

Oh.

"I... Can't say.", Logan replied helplessly. "I want to say they would, but I'm not so sure, and it wouldn't serve you any good to give you false hope."

Deceit gave a small nod. "It's okay. I'm not expecting them to say anything."

"They should."

"You may be right, but that doesn't change that they most likely won't.", Deceit fixed the logical side with a meaningful look. "As of right now, I'm feeling better than I have in weeks. I can't dwell on the others right now."

Logan managed a small smile. "You're right. Look at you, already getting into a better mindset."

Deceit scoffed half-heartedly. "I wouldn't say _that_ , especially so soon, Logan. It's too early to tell much progress, anyways."

"Perhaps.", Logan replied lightly, his smile growing playful. "But you certainly seem to have gotten a lot better than earlier's fiasco. I'd call that a victory, even if it's a small one."

Deceit chuckled slightly, and Logan could see the tip of his fangs poking out. He also noticed that he had dimples, which was surprisingly endearing.

Deceit suddenly stopped laughing. "You're staring again. If I creep you out, just tell me, oka-"

"No!", Logan explained hurriedly. "You're not creepy, I've just... Never seen you smile before. It's nice."

Deceit smiled at that, the dimples returning. "Thank you. I've never heard anyone say that."

Logan nodded, looking down at their still intertwined hands. He noticed that Deceit's hands were slightly smaller than his own, making them fit perfectly in Logan's palms. 

Deceit noticed the direction of his gaze and gently tugged his hands away. Logan was mildly surprised by the disappointment in his gut. 

"So, um.", Deceit cleared his throat self-consiously. "I don't want to kick you out or anything, but I still have to talk to the others. We need to come to terms with each other like you and I just did."

"Of course.", Logan replied, adjusting his glasses in an attempt to subdue the sudden awkwardness in the air. "If you ever need anything, my door is always open. Don't hesitate to ask for anything, okay?"

"Thank you.", Deceit answered softly. "I'll keep that in mind."

He stood up and began to walk towards the door, Logan reluctantly following closely behind. He wanted to talk to Deceit more; they may have come to terms, but there was still more that could be resolved. Moreover, Logan actually wanted to get to know Deceit better, as the person that he truly was, not marred by his depression or insecurites.

But that would have to wait. Logan understood that it was important for Deceit to speak with everyone else before anyone else could truly move one. It certainly wouldn't be an easy process, but it was one Logan was willing to help Deceit with, if it meant he'd be better because of it.

Deceit paused, his hand on the doorknob. He turned to look at Logan, his eyes catching his without anymore fear. "I just wanted to tell you, thank you again, truly. This means more than you could ever know. I just-thank you, Logan."

His voice was so soft. Logan suddenly felt a strong surge of emotions; to care for, to **protect** the side that stood in front of him. And, wordlessly, without a second thought, he reached out and pulled Deceit into a hug.

He wasn't expecting it; the half-snake tensed and was still, unyielding, but then the moment passed, and his arms wrapped around Logan, clinging on just as tightly as Logan was to him. Logan simply held him, trying to ignore the thoughts running through his brain; that he's never hugged a person before, was he doing it right? That Deceit fit so perfectly in his arms, that this hug somehow wasn't awkward or stiff, but it was gentle, and felt _right_.

After a few perfect moments, Deceit lifted his head up to look at Logan, his eyes shining. They really were beautiful, and Logan swore he could stare into them all day. They said nothing, simply looking at each other until they came to their senses and wordlessly parted, their gazes still locked. Deceit turned away first, once more grabbing the doorknob. He opened the door without a word, but just as Logan was leaving, he gave him a small, genuine smile, his dimples teasing the logical side without knowing. 

Logan stepped out into the hallway, where he was immediately hailed by the Creativitwins. "What happened? Is he okay? Did he try to hurt himself again? Hell, Logan, are _you_ okay?"

Logan shook his head lightly, unprepared at the sudden attack of questions. "I'm fine, you two. Deceit and I just had an excellent talk, and I believe he will see one of you now as well."

He looked back at the half-snake, who was still half hiding behind the door. He gave a single nod, before looking up and saying quietly, "Roman, you can come in, if you'd like."

"Of course.", Roman replied, giving a small bow before stepping into Deceit's room, the door shutting gently behind him. Remus immediately turned to Logan, an odd look in his eye. "What the hell did you two talk about in there?"

Logan looked at him, slightly puzzled. "What do you mean by that?"

Remus continued to peer at him, looking a bit suspicious. "You look like you've just had some sort of spiritual awakening or something."

Logan turned to look at the door to Deceit's room, a flurry of emotions sweeping through him. "You know what, Remus? I think I did."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you've enjoyed this! I'm trying desperately to keep this all platonic, but this might get some ships later. No guarantees, but it's a possibility. Also, if you're curious, the song mentioned is called "Quiet", by Lights. See ya round, web-heads! Stay safe!


	4. Apologies: Part 2 (Electric Boogaloo)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman get his chance to apologize to Deceit, afterwards helping Logan figure out his new feelings and what they mean. Meanwhile, while all of this was going down, they seem to have forgotten something incredibly important...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for self-harm mentions and self-esteem issues. Some yelling at the end *anxiety* and Roman being Roman around Logan, who is incredibly gay. Enjoy, web-heads!

Roman was nervous.

Well, okay, maybe not _nervous_. Downright terrified? Utterly anxious? About to vomit the rainbows his gay ass was certainly made of? Perhaps. But not without reason.

Roman was constantly nervous, wondering about how the others saw him, if the ideas he produced were really as good as he thought they were, if anyone ever actually _liked_ him. So, he wasn't one to respond very well in stressful situations. And boy, was this one of those times.

From the moment Deceit shut his door, small bursts of panic exploded in Roman's gut, making him feel slightly nauseated. He, surprisingly, wasn't too good with words; sure, he could write and map out stories like a pro, but he was no Shakespeare when it came to actually _saying_ anything. Especially his own feelings. He was constantly repressing his depression and self-loathing, always putting on a mask for the rest of the world. He was an excellent actor at that; just smile and soldier on, he'd tell himself. Even if he'd stopped self-harming, he was still struggling. Battling depression was no easy feat, but it was one that he was no longer fighting alone.

Roman turned to Deceit. Here was a man who had fought the same, gruelling battle as him, but who was fighting it without a single word. Who had fought for so long without so much as a whimper or plea. No, he had fought on alone, without any guidance, for so _damn_ long, that he finally gave up. The knight had fallen, dropping his weapons, embracing his fate.

The sudden realization of this made Roman feel horrible on Deceit's behalf, as well as... Disgust. In himself. He thought back to all the times he'd insulted the snake, his insecurities getting the better of him. Occasionally, he would think about apologizing, but he never got much of a chance to. He should have helped him. Should have told him he didn't have to fight alone. Should have let him known that he had allies to pick him up again.

But alas, here they were, two broken souls, two battle-worn knights. One in the process of being fixed, the other barely being held together by words.

Roman watched Deceit take a seat at his bed, sitting down only when he was beckoned to. Not even a minute later, he blurted out, "I'm so, so, _so sorry_."

Deceit looked taken aback at that. "That was fast.", he murmered. "Logan took some time before he let it out."

"Makes sense.", Roman replied, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "He doesn't really like emotions, so I can see why he wouldn't open up immediately. I'm sorry if you expected more, but that's just the way he is."

Deceit looked like he wanted to say something, but he merely pressed his lips together, averting his eyes. "Do you have anything else you wanted to say?"

"A lot, actually.", Roman murmured, giving the snake an apologetic glance. "We're going to be in here for quite a while, I'm afraid."

"It's okay.", Deceit assured, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "We've got time. Take however much you need."

Roman sighed, rocking slightly in his spot. He took a deep breath, before his words just came tumbling out, without warning or filter.

"Deceit, I am so, so, so _incredibly_ sorry for the way we treated you. I'm sorry for all those times I ever insulted you. I was low on self-esteem and I just cracked every so often, and you were an easy outlet to vent off to, but that doesn't condone my actions. You _never, ever_ should have to feel the way that you have, and I am as guilty of those scars on your body as if I took the blade to your skin. You don't have to forgive me, hell, I'm not expecting you to, but I need you to know that I truly, with everything that I am, regret _everything_ that I've done to hurt you, because you deserve so much better than this bullshit you've had to put up with-"

"Woah, woah.", Deceit stopped him, looking mildly alarmed. "Calm down, breathe, don't overwhelm yourself. That was, well-"

"Extra?", Roman offered, wincing slightly. His dam had broken, and now his emotions had just flooded poor Deceit's mind. 

"A bit.", Deceit admitted, chuckling softly. "But I don't mind. I-thank you, Roman. I honestly didn't expect such a reaction from you."

"Well, you know me!", Roman waved a dismissive hand, in an attempt to lighten the mood. "Drama King with a capitol K!"

Deceit offered a small smile, but then his face slipped back into concern. "Roman, did you mean all the stuff you said just now? Please, be honest with me."

Roman lowered his hands, nervousness beginning to creep back onto him. The way Deceit's eyes were fixed on him; their was such an intense flare in them, locked onto his own, pinning him there, center-stage. Had it been any other ocassion, Roman would have found those eyes incredibly attractive. They truly were snake-like, catching the Prince in a deathly grip, without even trying.

"Yes.", Roman answered, cringing internally at the unease in his voice. "I meant what I said. Hell, you didn't even let me finish."

"I am sorry for that, Roman, but I had to. You looked like you were having a panic attack and I didn't want you to quite literally start choking on your words."

Roman chuckled softly. "I know. I have a bad habit of just unleashing my feelings, especially since I don't really talk about them."

Deceit gave him a concerned look. "That's not very good."

"No, it's not.", Roman agreed, groaning as he stretched. "But it's better than nothing. At least I'm not covered in scars anymo-"

He immediately snapped his mouth shut, fearful of Deceit's reaction to the unintended potential insult. "Shit, I'm really sorry, I didn't-"

"It's okay, Roman.", Deceit leaned forward and grinned reassuringly. "I'm not upset or anything. You don't have to be so on guard."

"Better safe than sorry.", Roman muttered, averting his gaze. Deceit leaned back again, the smile vanishing from his face. 

"Hey, Roman?"

"Hmm?"

"If, well, if you don't mind me asking, how did the others react when you told them about... About your depression and what-not. Where they surprised? Did they overreact, in your opinion, what happened?"

"Oh, well, um, that's a bit personal. Any specific reason you'd like to know?"

"You don't have to answer if you're uncomfortable.", Deceit said quickly. "I was just curious."

_Oh,_ Roman realized as Deceit began to fidget with his hands a bit. _He's asking because he wants to contrast between his experience and mine. He knows that the others would have done more for me, but he wants to hear it from me personally. He wants someone to say the truth so he could heal faster._

_Like ripping off a band-aid. Like pulling out the sword so you can stitch up the wound. The sooner it's out, the sooner the wound will be able to heal._

Roman felt even worse, if possible. Not even because of the sudden realization, but because it was true. The others _did_ do more for him. Patton, after finally crying his heart out, assured Roman that he was there for him and that he would be more lax about his repressive behavior. Logan urged Roman to speak with him about any problems he had, even if he just felt like he needed someone to listen. And Virgil... Virgil offered tea, music, plushies, cuddles, anything that the Prince needed to cheer up, to be distracted from it all. He offered soothing words and warm hugs and apologies, and promises to be better.

That was all... So different from Deceit's own experience. Where Roman got everything when he needed it, Deceit had nothing. Not even Remus had noticed anything was wrong.

Roman didn't understand. Depression was a very horrible, very real thing. No one should be more worthy of seeking help than another. Everybody who was suffering deserved a chance to be healed.

So why were the others not trying? Was it because it was Deceit? A Dark Side? Well, Virgil had been a Dark Side, and he had been accepted with open arms after that whole encounter in his room. Hell, Remus was getting more than this!

Roman stole a peek at Deceit, who was leaning against the headboard of his bed. There was tragedy etched onto the lines of his face, sorrow mixing almost permanently in his eyes. He looked nothing, **nothing** like the monster that he and the others had thought up of.

_Sometimes we realize too late. Sometimes, we wait until someone is gone to truly notice how much we cared. We only realize we're hurting someone when they've cracked. When they finally cry out in pain, we only just start to notice how much more we should've done._

Roman made a vow, right then and there. He swore that no one in the mindscape would ever have to suffer like this. He vowed to be better, for Deceit. He vowed that he would never feel the darkness like today, ever again.

After the two talked for just a bit longer, Deceit had opened his door again to let Remus in. Roman found his brother and Logan talking in low voices, somewhat agitated. 

Logan was the first to notice them. "That was longer than expected.", he commented, giving Roman and Deceit a strange look that the Prince couldn't quite decipher. "Everything alright?"

"We were just talking.", Deceit replied hurriedly before Roman could. He noticed that Deceit wasn't looking Logan fully in the eye. "Sorry if we worried you."

Logan's expression softened, something that honestly surprised Roman. "No, it's fine. I just wanted to make sure you two weren't potentially hurting, or similar."

"Thank you. It means a lot.", Deceit smiled, more genuine than Roman had seen it all day.

He looked between the two sides. There was an odd air around them, almost like they had their own sort of bubble than no one else could pop. Just what exactly happened during their conversation?

"Remus, you can come in now.", Deceit said, taking a step aside to make room for the creative side. Remus sprang up anxiously, walking into the room with haste and shutting the door with trembling hands.

Roman turned slowly to Logan. "So... What was _that_ all about?"

"Well, I do find it's natural for him to be worried, Roman. He has a deeper bond than we do with Deceit, so it's quite expected for him to show more concern. Or, at least, that he's showing his concern in such a way."

"That's not what I meant, Teach.", Roman said, giving his friend an exasperated look. "I meant about you and Deceit."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Oh, nothing.", Roman replied lightly, pretending to inspect his nails. "Just that you two are reeking of chemistry. How'd you and the snake get so close so soon?"

"I-We-Well-", Logan stuttered, which intrigued Roman yet further. "I wouldn't exactly say close, Roman, that was one talk-"

"And yet!", Roman interrupted dramatically, absolutely delighted at Logan's mild look of panic at his raised voice. "You two just had that _vibe_ around you guys. I couldn't quite place my finger on it though, hmm."

The Prince snickered internally as Logan's face began to redden with anger. "Roman, this is **not** the time for this type of behavior. Please, show a little maturity-"

"Fine, then I'll get to the point.", Roman dismissed, abandoning his playful teasing for genuine curiosity. "You two have a connection, Lo, I can _feel_ it! There's something there, all right! I'm not quite sure what it is yet, though-"

"Roman, don't be ridiculous.", Logan, snapped, adjusting his glasses peevishly. "We are here to help Deceit, not to fawn ourselves with meaningless nonsense."

"Okay, first of all, how dare you. Second of all, all I said was that you two had a connection going on. I never specified which kind, so it can be platonic for all we know, and that would be a good thing, right, for Deceit to have friends? You're the one jumping to conclusions. And third of all, you're fixing your already neat glasses, which is a tick you do when you're nervous."

Logan stared at the prince, speechless. After a few moments, he narrowed his gaze, his voice as cold and hard as steele. "Your point?"

"My point?", Roman asked rhetorically, still smug at the victory over the logical side. "My point, my dearest friend, is that you appear to be... _Fond_ of Deceit. In fact, you may even be, dare I say it?, _crushing on him?!_ "

Logan was staring at the creative side with genuine horror. "Excuse me?! N-No, do not be absurd, Roman, that is not-there is nothing like that going on, why would even insinuate such a thing?!"

"One, you suck at keeping cool when pressured.", Roman replied, snickering faintly as Logan squirmed in distress. "Two, I'm responsible for the lovely-dovey side of Thomas, I know what I'm talking about. Three, it's just so obvious. You two just have natural chemistry."

"Well, we did certainly 'click' during our conversation.", Logan muttered distainly. "I do believe we might actually get along under different circumstances."

Roman cocked his head to the side, considering his friend. "I want you to think, Lo. Tell me, what exactly do you notice about him?"

"Notice?", Logan echoed, screwing up his face in concentration. "Well, I notice a lot of things. For one, his scales. They are simply fascinating, have you seen them in the light? The way they shine, almost like copper, bringing out the greens and golds... And his eyes? His human eye is richer than ours, and his snake eye is incredible, a menagerie of golden webs. His voice is softer than expected, and he still carries a slight loftiness to it, even when upset. His hands are cold but littered with scales that are smooth, and he's small, but he carries himself in such a way that it doesn't appear like that at all. Even through his depression, you can catch glimpses of the man he truly is."

Roman pressed his lips together, not quite hiding the smile that spread across his face. Logan's expression had shifted entirely, looking awestruck, a look typically associated with his stargazing. He looked so hopeful and enraptured, genuinely captivated by the side in question.

Roman wasn't a fool. His friend had fallen, and he had fallen _deep._ But the way he'd described it, it felt... Different. Like slipping into a calm pond, not crashing down in a waterfall of emotions like Roman was used to.

Was that hope? Was it possibility? Roman wasn't sure.

Logan was still gazing at Roman. Slowly, his face began to shift, from starstruck, to dawning realization. Then horror.

"Oh, no.", he murmured, clutching his shirt in terror. "Oh, no,no,no. This isn't good."

"Why not?", Roman questioned, mildly alarmed at Logan's rising panic. "Hey, calm down, deep breaths, Lo. Why are you so worried?"

"Isn't it obvoius?", Logan groaned, burying his face in his hands. "He's in no condition to be aware of any of this! I could try to hide it, but even so, it won't be healthy for me to be around him if I'm infatuated with him! I want to be there for him, and these stupid feelings could end up pushing him away!"

"Whoa, whoa , whoa. Slow down, Teach.", Roman walked up to his friend and rubbed his back gently. "You don't have to tell him, okay? That is all on you, Lo. You decide when you want him to know. Right now, let's just worry about helping him, okay? I'm sorry that I brought it up. Any of this."

"It's alright, Roman.", Logan said with dignity, waving a hand dismissively. "I needed to be made aware of these feelings. Regardless, you are right. We are here to help Deceit, and to heal the wounds we've inflicted. The rest can be dealt with later."

"If you say so.", Roman replied, turning to look at Deceit's closed door. "Just make sure you keep this a secret, okay? I'm not sure on how Patton will react, and I don't think Virgil will be very tolerable of it at all."

"Indeed.", Logan agreed darkly. "Which reminds me, we need to go find them. Whether they realize it or not, they owe Deceit an apology, so we need to fetch them and-"

But it became clear at once that this course of action would no longer be needed. A loud crashed echoed throughout the mindscape, followed by slight static that had come to be associated with anxiety.

"Oh, shit.", Roman swore faintly. The static grew louder, and a demonic voice suddenly rang out:

**_"Where the FUCK is he?!"_**

Virgil suddenly loomed around the corner, a dark aura surrounding him, his eyes burning violet with rage.

"H-Hey, Virge.", Roman stuttered slightly, wishing he could disappear right then and there. Next to him, Logan tensed, his jaw set and eyes narrowed. "What's all this a-about?"

**_"You know DAMN WELL WHAT THIS IS ABOUT."_** , Virgil roared, Patton appearing behind him, looking terrified. **_"That bastard tricked us. AGAIN!"_**

"Please refrain from speaking of Deceit with those words.", Logan hissed, cold and unafraid. Roman was in awe, or he would be, if he weren't terrified out of his mind. "What do you mean by that, Virgil. How did he trick us?"

"It's a diversion!", Patton cried, trying to tug on the anxious side's arm. "He's distracting us!"

"From what?!", Roman demaned, completely lost. Beside him, Logan stiffened even more, his eyes wide with realization. Had he figured it out?

Then, it hit him, a knot of panic forming in his gut-

**_"THE WEDDING!"_**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to say that I'll most likely be updating this in two weeks time, if at worse. I have a lot of online school work, and I want to get around to updating my other works. The next chapter will be *very* angsty, so just keep an eye out for that. See you soon, web-heads, and stay safe!


	5. Issues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus and Deceit have a very good heart-to-heart moment, before it is rudely interrupted by Virgil and Patton, having completely forgotten about the wedding they were supposed to attend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for: suicide mentions, self-harm mentions, self-esteem issues, yelling, unfair accusations, crying, forceful grabbing, being hit with a mace, a lot of general angst. Enjoy, web-heads!

Remus couldn't understand how so much had changed in so little time. It was as if yesterday, he'd been pestering Thomas as usual, chatting with Logan about the best way to dispose of a body, going to bed perfectly content with the world.

And then, the world shifted. Upset the balance. He just _couldn't_ wrap his head around it. Had it really just been this morning that Deceit had tried to kill himself? Had it just been mere hours ago that they'd had their fight? How had everything gone so wrong?

Remus shook himself slightly. This whole ordeal was shaking him worse than he'd thought. Now, suddenly, being alone in a room with his friend was a terrifying prospect.

Or, at least, the friend he thought he knew.

The longer Remus looked at him, the more he berated himself on not catching on sooner that Deceit had been suffering. Back then, before any of this had gone wrong, Deceit was... Happy. At peace. He quipped sly and sarcastic remarks to cheer Virgil up, and he had always encouraged their eldrich-like behavior. He was like the mom friend of their little trio. Always looking out for them, always shouldering their burdens along with his own. He was the one who taught Virgil his breathing technique to calm down in an anxiety attack. He never showed that he was bothered, always having a lofty air about him, a serene smile usually on his face.

And then, Virgil had left. The fight had been a horrible one. Remus simply stood by, too fearful to get involved. Deceit and Virgil had been yelling at each other, tears streaming down the half-snake's face. When Virgil took a step towards Deceit, fury etched into the lines of his face, Remus stood between them, and then all of them were screaming, Virgil with anger, Remus trying to stay rational, while Deceit was almost hysterical, tugging at his arm.

_"Virgil, what the fuck! What the hell has gotten into you?! You've never talked to us like this before!"_

_"Fuck off, Remus! This between me and the snake, so stay out of it!"_

_"You call him that one more time and you'll see what fucking happens, Virge, I'm not playing around!"_

_"Guys, stop! Virgil, please, I'm sorry, let's just talk about this-!"_

_"There's nothing to talk about! My decision is final, and there's nothing you can say that'll change that!"_

_"What decision? Dee, what's he talking about?"_

_"I'm leaving, Remus. I'm tired of being stuck here in the Dark, being ignored by the Lights. They have it so much better than us, so why not just go up there, too?!"_

_"You know why, Virgil! They cast us out here because they think we're bad! They think we're evil! They cast me in here before you or Remus even formed, you don't understand-"_

_"Don't understand what, exactly? That we can have a better life if you just stop being a pussy? Thomas will listen to us, I don't care about them-!"_

_"Virgil, listen to me! They won't let you! They'll ostracize you, or worse! I don't want you to get hurt-!"_

_"Well, it's too late for that! I'm going, and you can either join me, or stay down here, forgotten and ignored! I'm leaving for good, so don't expect me to come back!"_

_"Virgil, please-!"_

_"Virge, don't do this-!"_

_"No. I'm out. Goodbye."_

And that was it. Virgil left, and as soon as he vanished, Deceit fell to the floor, holding a hand on his stomach like someone had punched him, the other hand covering his mouth, doing nothing to silence the violent sobs tearing through his body. Remus fell beside him and took his friend in his arms, too shocked to do anything other than stroke the side's back, using all of his willpower to not tear off after Virgil.

They didn't hear from him again after that. Something had shifted among them. Deceit had gone into a full state, locking himself in his room for hours, barely even speaking. Sometimes, at night, when he thought no one was up, Remus would hear him crying.

It didn't last, thankfully. After a while, things settled back to normal. Deceit was... Mostly himself again. He was a bit more sarcastic than before, and he'd taken to wearing more black clothing, but he seemed more or less the same, in Remus's opinion.

Then, it happened. Deceit had revealed himself to the Light sides. Remus couldn't understand it. His friend had gone against his very beliefs, and for what? He was unwanted, unwelcome in their fragile facade of a home. When Deceit returned at the end of the day, however, practically falling apart, something clicked inside of Remus.

Virgil. Deceit wanted to see Virgil again. And he didn't care if he had to reveal himself to the Lights. He didn't care that he was risking so much in doing it. He didn't care if his own ideals were being thrown out the window. He just wanted to see Virgil again, even if he hated him.

When Deceit returned home, barely holding himself together, Remus rushed forward and took his friend in his arms, crying along with him as they sunk to the floor, reality crashing painfully on the hardly stable ruins of their previously happy family.

Things just went downhill from there. There was the argument about whether or not Thomas should go to the wedding or the callback, and Remus had to admit, Deceit was fabulous in the courtroom. He presented his arguments very well, and still managed to put on that charismatic villains persona, even though Remus could tell it was costing the snake everything not to fall apart. To his utter disgust, however, the Lights still refused to listen to Deceit, and voted instead for Thomas to go to the wedding. At this, Remus had had enough, so he marched into the courtroom, shrieking profanities and shaking with rage. He felt a small ounce of remorse at Deceit's blanced face upon his reveal, but Remus was too distracted, too furious to notice the way his friend's mood had shifted.

This lead to another argument, with the Lights deciding it would be better to ignore Remus, as he was intrusive thoughts and therefore, not worth their time. Remus had lost every bit of rationality at this point, and angry tears began to stream down his face as he roared the truths the Lights refused to see, that he never asked to exist, that he and Roman shouldn't have to be separated, and most shocking to them, that Virgil had been a Dark Side.

_"W-What?"_

_"That's right, Patton! You're dark, strange son is darker than you realized!"_

_"N-No! You're lying!"_

_"I'm not Deceit, you dumasses! You can't just skate off my points as lies!"_

_"Virgil! Tell us he's lying! His is, isn't he?"_

_"I-I-"_

_"Go on, Virgie! Tell them about us! How we used to hang out since the day we formed! How you helped us decorate our rooms! How you left us to rot in the Dark when we **begged** you to stay!"_

_"Remus! That's enough-"_

_"I'm not finished with you assholes yet-!"_

_"Enough."_

Deceit's voice was so soft and quiet that it was almost missed, but everyone went silent once he'd spoken. "Remus, we've caused enough trouble here, today. Let's go."

Remus wanted to argue, but one look at his friend's face made him nod silently. The others couldn't see it, but Deceit was paler than usual, his eyes narrowed and posture stiff, which meant an anxiety attack was most likely coming. Virgil could probably see it, too.

Not that Virgil cared about them anymore.

Remus left with Deceit, flicking off everyone else as he did so, glaring mercilessly. Thomas looked incredibly frightened, along with Patton. Logan looked utterly exhausted, while Roman was clutching his head in his hands. Virgil said and did nothing, his face screwed up in pain as he looked away.

Once they got back to their home, Remus lost it. He threw things, he punched the wall, he screamed in pure, unadulterated rage. Deceit merely stood by, watching with sullen eyes as his friend lay waste to their home, not bothering to stop him.

_"Why, Dee?! Why did you do that?! You knew they wouldn't listen, so why did you even put yourself through that?!"_

_"This could have been it, Ree. This is a very big opportunity for Thomas. Not only for his career, but for himself a person."_

_"And that worked perfectly, didn't it?"_

_"Remus, I didn't predict this would happen. I thought for once they'd actually listen to reason-"_

_"Oh? Is that it? If you ask me, you're doing all of this just so you can see someone you just can't get over. Don't lie, Dee!"_

The look on Deceit's face, it made Remus regret his words, even if marginally. His eyes widened, his hands tightening around his arms in a weak hug. His lips trembled, but he didn't cry. He just turned away and walked off, shutting his door with just a bit more force than necessary.

Remus avoided Deceit for the rest of that day, still angry at him, though, not as much as the Lights. Remus entertained himself by imagining brutal, gory deaths for each of them, specifically the anxious side.

That was, essentially, the last time the two spoke to each other. Remus started to hang out more with the Lights, at first for revenge, but then because he actually... Liked their company? It felt so _good_ not to be shut out anymore! Sure, he was still weary around Virgil, but for the most part, he was happy.

And in finding that happiness, he all but forgot about Deceit.

Remus's lip trembled as he looked at his friend, who had gone to sit at his bed. Who had always been there for him. Who would have _never_ given up on the creative side. Who never would have forgotten him.

Who had been suffering all this time.

Something inside of Remus broke. Within the blink of an eye, he launched himself into Deceit's arms, sobbing uncontrollably and blubbering incoherent apologies. Deceit, after the initial shock, simply wrapped his arms around Remus, saying nothing while he rubbed circles on his back.

After a few minutes, Remus hiccupped slightly as he pulled away, risking a glance at Deceit. He didn't look like he hated him, not did he look disgusted, or even confused. Deceit had that familiar expression of concern in his face, so familiar that it send a small ache through Remus's heart.

"You-You don't hate me?", Remus asked tentatively, brushing away a few stray tears.

"Of course not.", Deceit answered softly, his face brightening ever so slightly, causing a shriek of pain in the creative side. "I could never hate you."

Remus sniffed, tearing his eyes away. "You should."

"No, I shouldn't.", Deceit's voice was firm. "Yes, you hurt me, but it was unintentional. The fact that you sit in front of me now crying is evidence of that, of your guilt, of your remorse."

Remus said nothing, unsure of what to say. He was still mentally berating himself, but Deceit didn't need to be hearing self-depricating words, even if they weren't about himself. It was an unhealthy behavior, and his goal was to help Deceit as much as possible.

After a small pause, Remus spoke, with careful thought and caution. "How are you feeling right now?"

"Better.", Deceit confessed, inspecting the scales on his hands. "I feel like I'm actually getting somewhere with you all. You've all been so kind and understanding, I'll never be able to thank you enough."

A smile had spread on Deceit's face as he spoke, so hopeful and beautiful that Remus almost cried with relief at the sight of it. He didn't want to bring up that they were the reason he was hurt anyways, so he shouldn't really be thanking them, but Remus kept quiet. He didn't want anything to make that smile vanish.

Remus had another question that he was burning to ask, but he was worried about its nature. Would Deceit be okay with it, or was it an invasion of privacy? He decided to just go ahead and ask: "What did you and the others talk about?"

To his relief, Deceit didn't seem uncomfortable with the question. "Oh, well, you're brother and I didn't speak so much to each other, but there was a mutual understanding in the air. He knows what I'm going through, so it's a bit harder to talk about since he knows these things can be sensitive. He apologized, of course, as did Logan, but Logan... Well, he surprised me. He was more open than I expected him to be, and I felt... Weird."

"Weird?", Remus echoed, sitting up a little straighter. "Why? Did he say something? Were you uncomfortable?"

"No, no, nothing like that.", Deceit said dismissively, staring down at his scales, and Remus knew he was thinking hard. "I was... Noticing things about him. It was easy to talk to him, and I actually want to spend more time with him. He took my hands in his when he was apologizing, and his hands felt warmer than I'd thought they'd be. He looked so serious yet so full of life that it was almost too much. They way his dark eyes were staring at me, the weight in every word he spoke. It was... Enrapturing. Fascinating."

Remus simply listened, though deep down, something was settling in his gut. He couldn't tell what it was though, and Deceit was still talking.

"He says he doesn't like emotions, and while I understand that, I can still see his true feelings, even under that remarkable poker face. It's in his eyes. They're so dark and so vivid, it's like staring into a starless sky, or gazing into the depths of a deep ocean. They carry so much weight, so much intensity, it's incredible. They're just... Beautiful. And his voice, I never noticed how rich and smooth it sounds. He came off as cold the first time we met, but by the time he left my room, I could feel the warmth and _passion_ radiating from him."

Remus knew exactly what was happening, and he didn't think he liked it all too much. Deceit was too clouded by his other emotions to see it, and moreover, he never had much experience in this sort of territory. Remus doubted if his friend even knew what a crush was supposed to feel like.

It was obvious enough. Deceit had a crush on Logan, but didn't see it. Not yet, at least.

Remus didn't know what to feel about that. His long-term bestfriend, pining after the resident nerd? That would be incredibly awkward, and it certainly wasn't what Deceit needed. But he didn't mention it. No need to talk about it just yet, when they already had more than enough to deal with right now.

"So, DeeDee.", Remus said, changing the subject subtly. "Do you think you would be able to forgive us?"

Deceit looked up at him, surprised. "Of course I would. Why wouldn't I?"

"Come on, Dee, be honest. I'm willing to work for your forgiveness, okay? Don't feel obligated to-"

"I don't feel obligated to do anything.", Deceit interrupted, mildly glum. "I'm forgiving you because I know you're sorry. You cared that I would die. I can't just ignore everything you've done to help me, even in these short hours."

Remus met his friend's mismatched eyes. "You really mean that?"

"Yes. I mean that."

There was a pause as those words sunk in. Remus risked a hesitant smile. "Thank you. I'm sorry for all of this. I don't know what I'd ever do without you."

Deceit smiled, his dimples returning and those fangs of his poking out of his signature smile. "Aww, come here." He opened his arms again, and Remus didn't hesitate to launch himself into them, a flurry of hope and happiness rather than a torrent of misery and grief. The two states like that, Deceit stroking Remus's curly brown locks while the side in his arms hummed contently.

But it didn't last long. A loud crash echoed through the mindscape, followed by a loud voice, muffled from within Deceit's room.

Remus jumped up, his gut lurching uneasily. He knew that voice. It was impossible not to recognize. There was only one side who had the power to change his voice, to strike fear. To be heard. To listen to.

Remus looked at Deceit. He had gone pale again, his fingers trembling slightly. His eyes were still, like a deer at headlights.

"DeeDee? Are you okay?", Remus asked, fear shooting through his veins as the yelling voice grew louder, closer. Deceit swallowed thickly, clenching his hands. "Dee?"

"Its Virgil.", Deceit whispered, his own voice shaking just a little. "He's upset."

Remus hated how, even now, Deceit still carried that concern for Virgil like they were still friends. He couldn't bring himself to stop caring, he never even truly got over the anxious side's abandonment.

Still, a bitter feeling rose in Remus. Virgil didn't deserve Deceit's kindness, especially after the way he'd been treating his former friend. "Well, it's none of our business, so-"

But then, the voice rang out again, painfully sharp and horribly loud, shaking the door and walls. Remus hissed while Deceit stood up, fearfully staring at the door as the voice cried out:

**_"THE WEDDING!"_**

Remus's eyes widened, sharing an "Oh, shit." face with his friend, before bolting out of the room, Deceit right on his heels. "What the hell is going on-?!"

It was quite a sight to behold. By the door, Logan and Roman stood, the creative side looking terrified as well as shocked, while Logan stood rigid, glaring down the hall with such ferocity Remus was almost impressed. Just down the hall, Virgil stood, Patton clinging to his arm, looking scared out of his mind while the anxious side looked more demonic than Remus had ever seen him.

Virgil 's eyes flashed dangerously when he noticed them. **_"YOU."_** , he snarled, pointing a finger at Deceit, hatred illuminating his eyes. 

Deceit lowered his head, taking a small step out into the hall. Remus was mildly surprised to see Logan step in front of the snake protectively, while Roman drew his sword, both of their faces set and determined. Remus pulled out his mace and joined them, longing to clobber Virgil's head in when he saw the said side growl at the sight of them.

**_"Look at you guys, protecting the little liar. Go on, tell them the truth! This was all an act, wasn't it? To forget about the wedding."_**

Deceit looked so stunned and hurt, it made Remus seethe with rage. How _dare_ Virgil stand there and accuse Deceit, without so much as any evidence? He wasn't a scapegoat! Remus grit his teeth, fighting the urge to launch himself at the anxious side while Patton spoke up.

"Guys, think about it! The wedding is today, and he just so happens to have a near-death experience when he specifically argued against going! Isn't that, a bit too convinent?"

"Are you saying that Deceit is lying about all of this?", Logan asked, his voice low and deadly, with enough venom to kill a man. "Did you not listen to the words he told us? The tears he shed? The scars on his arms?"

"You know as well as I do that this could be an act.", Patton argued, tear stains on his face. "His name is _Deceit,_ Logan! We hardly know anything about him! Acting could be one of those tricks of his!"

"Are you implying acting is just a form of lying?", Roman sputtered, looking rightfully offended for both himself and Deceit, while Remus snarled, "His name isn't Deceit. You don't know his real name."

**_"But I do."_** , Virgil growled, his eyes narrowing. **_"What difference does it make if we know it, or even use it?"_**

"A name is much more important than you think.", Logan replied curtly. "It is a sign of identification, a symbol as a person. Refusal to use or acknowledge a person's name is refusal to see them as a person equal to yourself. But then.", he added, hatred gleaming out of his eyes to match Virgil's. "You never cared much for that, did you?"

Virgil hissed softly, Patton looking a bit ashamed. Remus looked back at Deceit. The snake was standing perfectly still, breathing heavily and clutching his hands up to his chest, his eyes wide with fear and pain.

"I don't care what you two think.", Roman spat, any trace of fear in him now gone. "Deceit did not lie about all of this just to forget about the wedding, and you'd do better than to dare accuse him of that again." His voice was clear and strong, his eyes burning with rage. Roman raised his katana in anticipation for battle, his hold steady.

"No, don't-", Deceit choked, moving his hands to stop them, for Logan looked ready to throw down as well. "Don't fight-"

A loud static sound filled the air, making Remus and the others yell out from pain and surprise. He dropped his mace and stumbled, temporarily blinded by the sudden noise. Eyes watering, head spinning, he looked up.

Virgil was right there, looking far more horrifying than Remus remembered him being. He had pushed the others away, and in his hold was Deceit, trembling, yet somehow still able to look at the anxious side in the eyes.

**_"Don't you touch them."_** , Virgil whispered, his voice carrying no doubt in its deadly nature. _**"Don't you fucking dare-"**_

"Virgil." , Deceit whispered, agony written all over his face, tears streaming silently down his cheeks. "Please, don't do this. You need them-"

**_"And you need to stay away from us!"_** , Virgil snarled, squeezing Deceit's hands and causing him to cry out in pain. **_"I'll make sure of it this time-"_**

Before anyone could have done anything, just as Remus was about to grab his mace, Logan, faster than anyone else, picked up the mace and swung it at Virgil's head, fury alive in those dark eyes. Virgil tumbled to the floor in a sprawling, hissing mess, Deceit and Patton screaming. Logan wasn't done, though. He brought the mace down again in the space of floor dangerously close to Virgil's face, leaning down and speaking in a low, deadly voice, "You _dare_ touch him again, and you'll see what happens, you piece of shit-"

There was a squeak of surprise. Roman had his katana pointed at Patton, who had been trying to get to Virgil. "Not another step, Padre. I won't hesitate. Bitch."

Deceit was moving towards Virgil as well, but Logan stopped him. "Dont, please. He doesn't deserve your sympathy or concern. "

"You just hit him with a fucking mace!", Deceit shrieked, the sobs starting to tear through him. Logan winced, looking mildly ashamed. He said nothing as he pulled the shorter side to him, wrapping his arms around him and holding him gently as Deceit began to sob again, clutching Logan's shirt tightly.

Remus stood there, gaping at them, before turning away. Something about that hug, it seemed so intimate and warm, that it felt intrusive to ogle at it. Remus instead focus his attention to Virgil, who was attempting to get back on his feet, groaning in pain. Remus put his foot on his back, forcing the side down again, snickering at his feeble struggles.

Remus looked back to the two embracing sides. Logan still had Deceit in his arms, frowning down at his former friend. "Remus, Roman, why don't you two handle them? I want a word with Deceit."

For some reason, this made Remus suspicious, but before he could answer, Roman, still holding his katana to Patton, replied, rather cheerfully, "Of course, Knight in Shining Specs! It would be an honor to set these two straight, or at least, as straight as they can be."

"Don't hurt them.", Logan warned, while Remus groaned at his brother's joke. "Just talk to them. I'll be out shortly."

'Says the man who just clobbered Virgil to the floor', Remus thought, but he wasn't too concerned. If anything, he was impressed by Logan's course of action. Deceit had poked his head out, peeking down at the former Dark side.

"Deceit, if you will.", Logan said politely, gesturing towards his room.

Deceit took a deep breath, looking up at Logan, his expression grim. "You can't just expect me to leave with him still on the floor like that."

Logan arched an eyebrow. "I could carry you to your room. It certainly wouldn't be hard to do so."

Deceit flushed, lips twitching into a frown. "You wouldn't-hey!"

Logan had swept Deceit into his arms, bridal-style, looking mildly amused. Deceit squirmed to get free, but Logan wasn't having it, carrying Deceit into his room while he shouted protests, shutting the door carefully behind them.

Roman caught his brother's eye and shared with him a look. "And I thought I was the dramatic one.", he mused, poking Patton gently with his katana towards the couch. The moral side sat down without a word, keeping his eyes on the Creativitwins nervously. Remus heaved Virgil to his feet and threw him onto the couch as well, the former Dark side giving him the finger while glaring, murderous. Remus ignored him, addressing both of the Light sides, with a nod from his brother.

"Alright, you assholes. It's our turn to yell at you now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof.  
> I'm crying because I'm thinking about Deceit singing "Heart of Stone" from Six: The Musical, as he sat alone in those nights, for Virgil, trying not to break-  
> (It's also the year anniversary since Endgame, so-)  
> Hope you enjoyed! Next update may take awhile, just to let you know. See you, web-heads, and stay safe!


	6. Important Author's Note!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've got some important updates for you guys. Please, read through to the end!

Hey, so, I'm back!

I know you all probably wanted this to be an update, and I know that's exactly what you guys deserve, but I have some things that I feel need to be said.

Most unfortunately, this work, as well as any other works I have or an planning to do, are going to take longer to update. I've been suffering from a severe lack of motivation ever since April, and it's gotten worse as of late, especially since I found out I had failed a class and now need to make that grade up. Having pressuring family members sucks, too :(

Because of this, and of other things, I haven't felt connected towards anything or anyone. I've also been experiencing some chest pain recently, as well as a shortness of breath, so that has been excruciating to deal with, and one can't help but think negatively in times like these.

I'm so, so sorry for this, but I'd rather you guys understand why I've been gone as opposed to thinking I'm abandoning you guys in any way, shape, or form. It still baffles me that people actually like what I write.

Once I get a new device to work on, I'm hoping I can get discord or tumblr, just for an easier way to manage myself and my works. I'm also trying to just filter out any ideas so I can focus on my main ones.

And now, the final update. This fic isn't going to be very long, or so I hope. I have an upcoming story (a Sanders Sides au) that is set to release in maybe late August. As such, I want to have this fic done by then, which doesn't seem all that likely given my current state, but I'm going to try, regardless. If you'd still like to see more of this story, though, I could start a one-shot book to update in my free time! I'm just praying this will become easier.

I'm really sorry about all of this, but you guys deserve to know. I've started pushing myself to write more, so next chapter shouldn't be too long. Here's hoping, my dears!

Thanks for reading, web-heads! It really means a lot, especially now, of all times. See you hopefully soon, and remember to stay safe!

-ND


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